Dear Queen and King Boobernackle (aka my parents),
Sitting here in my high tower, found near the Pit of Death and in the center of the breeding ground for our pet dragons, I have had some time to think about where I would like my life to go. Once again, the electricity is out up here—probably another mishap with a baby dragon that hasn’t yet learned to control its hot breath of fire around our electrical lines---and once again, I am left to stare at my unusable Playstation 3 (I was just about to beat Lego Indiana Jones, too), Mac, television, cordless phone (since you STILL won’t let me have my own cell…as if I would call that brainless Prince Ken Charming!), and treadmill. Because staring at these now useless items was only depressing me, I thought I may distract myself with the view out of my window. Yes, it is a bit dreary here near the Pit of Death, where you send the evil-doers of our kingdom, but across the horizon I can see trees, fields, and even some rolling hills (with the help of my binoculars, of course). And it was after taking in these majestic views, that I realized how I need to get out of this horrendous tower.
Now, I understand that you are worried about me being in the real world because of the way I look. I assure you that I will do some research before I walk into the world wearing my usual ball-gown and jeweled tiara. I realize that the common-folk probably don’t wear tiaras, so I can always exchange that for some pearl barrettes—no one will suspect a thing. I have also already had my seamstress sew an extremely gorgeous evening gown for when I am to be released into the real world. Upon doing some preliminary research from books I have had read to me by our maid, Mary, I think that the quant town of North Dakota may suit me very nicely. Mary insists I would really enjoy it there, and even though I find Mary a bit on the ugly side, this bit of advice was really nice on her part. She said that the excitement of this
Anyways, I just want you to know that I deserve my independence, and I am willing to do this extra research in order to accomplish this. Please let me know via email (although I have to send this by bird because of aforementioned electrical outage); I am already beginning to pack my trunks!
Your lovely daughter,
The fairest in this land (and probably several others as well),
Princess Barbie Boobernackle